You don't want this child," Tu Bai repeated, his eyes beginning to redden. "Is that right?
“No!” Gojo Satoru immediately denied, "How is it possible that I—"
Then why do you always ask such strange questions?" Tu Bai's voice rose, "You've been acting weird this whole month! Do you think I haven't noticed? You stare blankly at my belly, you avoid me to take phone calls, that expression just now—
He gasped for breath, his chest heaving violently.
You've been taking care of me because of this child, haven't you?" he said. "You're being good to me because I'm pregnant. Now you.. are you regretting it? Do you not want it anymore?
Gojo Satoru grabbed his shoulders: "Xiao Bai, calm down—"
I am very calm!" Tu Bai shook off his hand. "Then tell me, why did you ask those things?
Gojo Satoru fell silent.
He could not say it.
He couldn't say it was a False Pregnancy; he couldn't say that everything would disappear in two weeks; he couldn't say that thing—the thing that made Tu Bai vomit and feel so unwell, the thing he had told countless times, "Baby, be good"—was never real.
Tu Bai watched his silence, his heart sinking bit by bit.
You really.." His voice was hoarse, "You really did it for the Child.
No.
“Why?” Tu Bai roared, his eyes turning red. "You said you liked me, but you were lying, weren't you? That confession—it was all because of this child, wasn't it?"
Gojo Satoru wanted to say no, wanted to say he had liked him from the very beginning, wanted to say that all that care, all that indulgence, all those days spent acting along with him were not because of any sense of responsibility.
But he couldn't say it.
Because as soon as he spoke, he would have to explain why he was asking those questions, once he explained, he would have to reveal the truth about the False Pregnancy.
Tu Bai looked at his silent state, tears finally fell.
"I understand." He wiped his face, climbed up from the Bed, grabbed the Black Suit Jacket from the Chair Back.
"Xiao Bai!" Gojo Satoru stood up, trying to grab him.
Tu Bai dodged his hand and walked toward the Doorway.
"Where are you going?" Gojo Satoru chased after him.
None of your business," Tu Bai said without turning back. "Besides, you don't want us anymore anyway.
Gojo Satoru grabbed his wrist: "When did I say I didn't want you anymore?"
Tu Bai turned back to look at him. His Red Eyes were wet, the corners of his eyes were red, tears still hung from his eyelashes.
Then explain it," he said. "Explain it to me.
Gojo Satoru looked at him, his mouth hanging open.
He said nothing.
Tu Bai waited for three seconds.
Five seconds.
Ten seconds.
Then he laughed. It was an ugly laugh, his mouth twisting as tears streamed down his face.
"I knew it," he said.
He shook off Gojo Satoru's hand, pulled open the door, rushed out.
The door slammed shut with a "bang."
Gojo Satoru stood in place, staring at that door.
He wanted to chase after him. He wanted to pull him back. He wanted to tell him the truth, then, no matter how Tu Bai reacted, he would accept it.
But he didn't move.
He feared that even if he caught up, he still wouldn't be able to say those words.
He feared that once Tu Bai learned the truth, he would wear that "it was all a joke from beginning to end" expression.
He feared that this person, whom he had finally managed to obtain, would leave him forever because of a lie that had been destined to shatter three months ago.
He stood in the empty room, listening to the footsteps outside growing more and more distant, then vanishing.
Moonlight still shone on the floor.
There was still Tu Bai's warmth and scent on the Bed.
Gojo Satoru slowly sat back down by the bedside, burying his face in his hands.
"Fuck." He cursed in a low, muffled voice.
Outside the window, the night was deep.
Siren sounds echoed in the distance; it was unclear what had happened.
He lifted his head and looked at the window.
Tu Bai ran out without wearing shoes.
This thought suddenly popped into his head.
He was not wearing shoes, only socks; the floor was very cold on an October evening in Tokyo.
Gojo Satoru stood up and walked to the window to look down.
There was no one downstairs.
He took out his mobile phone and dialed Tu Bai's number.
It rang three times before being hung up.
He tried calling again, but the phone was turned off.
Gojo Satoru held his Mobile Phone and stood by the Window for a long time.
Then he put on his Jacket, picked up his Key, left the room.
Regardless, I have to find him first.
That fool didn't even have his slippers on.
Chapter 54
Tu Bai sat in the tram, staring blankly outside the window.
There were not many people in the carriage. Sitting opposite was a Young Man wearing headphones, looking down and scrolling through his Mobile Phone. The light tube on the ceiling flickered occasionally, making a sizzling electric sound.
He didn't know how he had run out.
By the time he realized what had happened, he was already at the station. He swiped his card to enter, boarded the nearest tram heading to Yokohama, just sat there.
He forgot to wear his Jacket. He forgot to turn on his Mobile Phone. He only had a pair of socks on his feet—he had been in such a rush when he ran out that he didn't even change his shoes.
Tu Bai looked down at his feet; his socks were white, the toe of his left foot was a bit dirty, though he didn't know when he had stepped on something.
He pulled his feet in and curled up in the seat.
His mind was a mess, one moment filled with Gojo Satoru's silent expression, the next with the words he had shouted, then that sentence, "If something happens to the child."
The more he thought about it, the more frustrated he became.
He raised his hand to rub his eyes; his eye sockets still felt sore, but there were no more tears. He had finished crying in the Apartment just now, now all that remained was a throbbing, uncomfortable sensation.
The Tram arrived at the Station nearly at one in the morning.
Tu Bai got off the tram, walked out of the station, headed toward Tu Bao's Apartment along the familiar Street. The night in Yokohama was quieter than Tokyo; there were few people on the road, with only a few convenience stores still having their lights on.
He stopped walking as he reached an old Apartment Building.
It was a five-story Apartment Building with beige tiles on the exterior, some of which had already cracked. The light at the First Floor entrance was broken, leaving it pitch black. From the stairwell, the sound of someone's TV drifted out, muffled and distant.
Tu Bai stood downstairs; he did not go up.
He didn't have the Key.
And at this hour, Tu Bao must have already fallen asleep.
He hesitated for a few seconds before finally walking to the stairs and sitting down on the steps by the door. He curled his legs up, rested his arms on his knees, buried his head.
He would just stay crouched like this.
Wait until Day 2.
The night wind blew over, feeling a bit chilly. Tu Bai shivered, curling himself into an even smaller ball.
After an unknown amount of time, footsteps echoed in the hallway.
Tu Bai did not look up.
Footsteps stopped in front of him.
Hey.
A male voice, carrying a hint of impatience.
Tu Bai lifted his head.
Three men stood before him, all appearing to be in their twenties. The one in the middle had dyed yellow hair, wore a black leather jacket, had a cigarette in his mouth. The one on the left was bald, while the one on the right was tall and thin, holding a beer bottle in his hand.
Sitting here all by yourself in the middle of the night?" The blond man leaned down to look at him, ash falling onto the Floor. "You look pretty fresh.
The Bald man laughed beside them, "Brother, is this little brother lost?"
The lanky man slammed the wine bottle against the wall, causing the remaining half-bottle of wine to splash out. "Want to play with your big brothers?"
Tu Bai looked at them without saying a word.
He is in a very bad mood right now.
Extremely bad.
Seeing that he wasn't reacting, the Yellow-haired man reached out to pinch his face. "What's wrong, are you scared senseless—"
Before he could finish speaking, his wrist was grabbed.