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Note, Gin's thoughts here do not mean he is turning away from evil—the possibility of such a thing happening is simply too small.
He was merely beginning to doubt the meaning of the Black Organization to himself.
I have previously mentioned Gin's attitude regarding the Black Organization and good and evil—I gave an example, Little Angel also gave an example about taking a bath in the comments; the 'change' mentioned here refers to that.
PS: Gin's thoughts do not represent the author's views.
1）
Gin knows what he has done, he likely knows exactly how many years he would be sentenced to, but fundamentally, he is unconcerned, let alone feeling any guilt. Furthermore, he has never actually felt anything toward the System, he doesn't believe he should oppose the Black Organization—even if it is his mission. He only intends to revive Shiratori Midori, which is why he has been turning a blind eye.
In fact, many of his actions up to this point have still been from the standpoint of the Black Organization.
Scotland's death caused some changes in Gin. But his death was not the direct cause; it was a "qualitative change triggered by a quantitative change."
Initially, Tennessee's attitude toward his wife and child, Shiratori Midori's persistent unhappiness within the Black Organization that eventually led to his depression, Nana's attitude toward the Black Organization, Vermouth's hidden thoughts, Akai Shuichi, the series of convictions regarding Fake Liquor—Gin had always had a vague awareness of all these things, but he simply did not care.
At first, he simply didn't care—he remained indifferent to even more matters under such circumstances. Shiratori Midori's death caused him to shift from indifference to being somewhat moved, but these emotions were too subtle to shake anything, until Scotland's death finally turned quantitative change into qualitative change.
Sheila's choice was the breaking point.
If it weren't for these matters, he wouldn't bother thinking about the morality of the Black Organization—it would be meaningless to him.
Even if he were to eventually break away from the Black Organization, it would merely be a matter of drifting with the tide and following the current; it would not be something he had truly thought through, nor would it be his own choice.
And although he does not currently intend to truly oppose the Black Organization or become some kind of good person, he will still consider matters of stance, regarding the Black Organization and the outside world—this kind of thinking is mental. In other words, it is a departure from so-called institutionalization.
The Black Organization has had an impact on many people; some of it is visible, while some is invisible—such as Vermouth, such as Sherry. The longer one stays after joining, the deeper this influence becomes. Haibara Ai's Black Organization Sense Radar is also a manifestation of this.
I don't really want Gin's eventual departure from the Black Organization to be merely following the flow, while still being unable to escape the organization mentally—not in the sense of the normal "influence" one would typically experience, but rather a kind of institutionalized "imprisonment."
Although he certainly won't become someone like Amuro Tooru or Akai Shuichi, may still pursue a dangerous profession after leaving the Black Organization, his departure is not merely a matter of following the flow after losing all other options; rather, it is a choice he has thought through, having decided for himself whether to stay or leave.
To put it simply, it is like how someone might have chosen business in college initially because of their Parents' demands or because it was what everyone else was choosing, without even understanding what business entails or what the career benefits are; now, even if it is not out of genuine passion, they at least chose it because they know it makes finding a job easier after graduation.
Secondly, there is the matter of stance. Before this change, Gin's sense of positioning was somewhat confused—on one hand, he wanted to save Shiratori Midori and thus chose to stand in opposition to the Black Organization, yet on the other hand, he still stood with the Organization.
This confusion is manageable for now, as he is currently just coasting; but as things progress, he cannot remain this conflicted; this is also causing him to contemplate issues regarding his stance.
2）
And their positions also determined their feelings.
A few chapters ago, a Little Angel suggested that "Scotland could be saved and then dumped over to Nani," but the reason I didn't write it that way was partly because it would be OOC, partly because, based on their stances, neither Gin nor Scotland would ever do such a thing.
Their positions were completely different. Gin could even trust Takao Haruki, who had previously set him up, but he would never trust Scotland of the Japanese Public Security; likewise, Scotland would never neglect his duties simply because he had saved his life.
For Gin, rationality is absolutely greater than emotion. His relationship with Heine is already quite good, yet he would not hesitate to set him up, threaten him, or even consider killing him; Heine is the same way. Even though he has a good impression of Gin, he will never forget his principles; when telling stories, he mixes truth with lies, if a matter involves his own trouble, he will refuse first, even looking after Borse comes at the cost of a favor.
Gin is the same toward Akai Shuichi and Amuro Tooru; knowing their identities and being on opposing sides, he has no interest in romance; his focus remains solely on defense and vigilance.
3）
Secondly, there is the sense of isolation resulting from this—but I will deal with that later.
4）
In addition, there is another crucial point regarding the failure of Gin's mission this time.
Gin was not without his failures, but he certainly did not fail often. This time, he had miscalculated twice in a single day—once with Nana and once with Scotland—and a large part of the reason lay with himself.
This clearly dealt him a certain blow, making him become even more [serious].
In addition, there are actually some other factors, but I won't mention them here.
After thinking it through, he would be able to face the Mastermind of the Nani incident~
In fact, because he possessed Foresight regarding the Plot, combined with some mental deviations caused by his blurred stance, he had been somewhat careless about certain matters.
5）
Some of the Little Angels who wrote long reviews before have caught onto this: Gin is quite distant from both Akai and Amuro.
He only met them because of the System, due to his complicated feelings toward the System and the Plot, Gin's initial perception of them was that they were merely Pawns.
Although Gin did not care about the System, the Plot within the System, which felt like a prophecy, still had a certain impact on him.
As mentioned in the previous chapter, Akai felt as if someone was pushing him.
And many times, Gin acted with a plan in mind; although he was not entirely heartless, he remained very cold and indifferent.
He needed to use them to achieve his Target, so his attitude toward them had always been quite subtle.
The comparison group was Nana and Heine.
Regarding Nani and Heine, who have absolutely nothing to do with the System, his attitude is much more natural. Sometimes he even takes the initiative, such as patting Nani's head, agreeing to go to Heine's house for a meal, or letting Heine go when in Italy.
As for Akai and Amuro, he could only be said to have used them intentionally, maintaining rationality and vigilance most of the time. Even when he showed emotion or took initiative—since they were humans after all, it was impossible to treat them entirely like NPCs—the softening of his attitude and the fluctuations in his emotions were nothing compared to when he was with Nani and Heine.
This failure also caused him to reflect on himself. Although he would still make plans and arrangements, he would at least treat things more seriously. At the very least, when facing capable opponents (including Akai and Amuro—by the way, are these two truly nemeses?), he would reduce that condescending and indifferent attitude.
—As for the development of their feelings after this.. that is up to them.
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I'll write these for now.. the previous ones were a bit long and messy.. I'll number them slightly, but the parts below the numbers aren't necessarily separate points.
Cheering once again for the Little Angel's long review~
I will provide more specific details after Volume Two is finished.
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This chapter is a three-in-one.. including the updates from the previous two days..
Actually, I had already finished writing it the day before yesterday, that chapter didn't have this many words, but it felt smoother and more intense. However, something went wrong, I didn't save it, then I couldn't find it QAQ
I can't find the original feeling while rewriting this chapter; the plot and dialogue are all different, it doesn't flow smoothly in one breath.. I feel like it's a bit inferior to what I originally wrote.
So heartbroken QAQ
The next chapter will be the conclusion, then a character who hasn't appeared in a long time will show up to add some flavor.
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Thanks to Gongjun Wangshu Little Angel's landmines, love you mwah~
Thanks to the Little Angels who provided nutrition: Yi Zhan Qian Si Kan, Ye Ling, Weihuan Jihe YY, Snare " Suo Bu Zhu Si, Ji Wan De Ani Jia, Guizhidao Zhege, Gong Jun Wang Shu, Bai Chen Shang, love you all~
Chapter 84 Chapter 80 Akai Shuichi: "Have a glass of 'Silver Bullet..
Reality left Gin with little time to think.
To be more precise, a massive pile of messes was currently crowding together, waiting for Gin to clean them up. Each one accumulated one by one, buzzing like flies; even with Gin's steady and cold temperament, he couldn't help but feel a bit of a headache at this moment.
The first one, naturally, was the aftermath of the Nani incident.
Malibu has already been killed by Gin, according to his confession, the person behind it was Rum.
But as for how much of what he said was true or false, it remains to be seen.
Gin believed that people would lose their resolve under the threat of death, but he also knew that a person with a steadfast mind would make decisions they would never change even in the face of death, a calculating person would act to deceive others, a petty, self-important person would often mislead others.
Rum was indeed a suspicious individual.
Gin had thought so before as well; otherwise, he wouldn't have acted on impulse and developed a rebellious streak, setting a trap in an attempt to save Scotland.
However, after he calmed down, Gin keenly realized that things were not that simple.
Rum has the motive and the means, Malibu's codename, his deathbed confession, Rum's probing of him during the Scotland incident, his mission to go abroad, so on, all seem to indicate that he is the person most likely to have done these things.
However, if it were him, would he really use such obvious means?
Moreover, Malibu's prolonged silence signaled the failure of the mission, yet Rum has taken no action to this day—not even the slightest probe.
—Even he is far too composed.
Rum is highly suspicious, but is this person definitely Rum? —Gin cannot say for certain.
He was also unwilling to gamble with Nana's safety.
After much consideration, Gin still chose to take the gamble—but the stakes certainly could not be Nana.
Looking at Shimabukuro Kimie, who was leaning against the hospital bed looking weak and had already been disguised as Nani, as well as Nani, who stood by her side looking worried yet appearing as a stranger, Gin lowered her eyes slightly.
"Is this.. really okay?" Nana frowned, the swelling on his face having subsided by more than half, though some traces still remained; combined with the dark circles under the Black-haired girl's eyes that wouldn't fade, he looked quite disheveled upon closer inspection.
To be honest, if she hadn't entered the Hospital with Kimie the day before yesterday, the medical staff would have likely suspected Niwang of "assaulting his Girlfriend" upon hearing their story about being "attacked by a criminal."
However, she had no mood to care about her own injuries; she simply cast her gaze toward Kimie and Gin, staring at them intently, stubbornly trying to get an answer: "Will Sister Kimie be alright?"
Judging by her appearance, she likely wouldn't agree to let Kimie face danger unless she received a definitive answer.
Gin did not answer her.
It was Shimabukuro Kimie who spoke up to offer comfort, her eyes crinkling into a bright smile: "Nothing will happen—don't worry, Nana."
The long-haired former Miko looked calm, her gaze gentle; even as she leaned against the bed with a pale face, she possessed a strange, comforting power.
Green eyes swept over her, Gin remained noncommittal.
Nana was still quite uneasy. "But Sister Kimie, the risk is too great for you like this, besides, you are still injured. Why don't you let me—"
Before she could finish, Gin interrupted her: "You should save your energy. Instead of worrying about that, you'd better find a suitable reason for staying at your boyfriend's house for a few days."
“Stay at Yaji's house for a few days?” Nana repeated in surprise, his eyes widening involuntarily. “Why?”
"Don't tell me you want to stay at your own place? Are you trying to intentionally leave a flaw because the plan is too perfect?" Gin mocked coldly.
Nana choked on his words, then muttered, "But it's not like I have to go to Yaji's house.. Can't I just rent a house?"
"Do you have your Student ID?" The Silver-haired youth's eyes carried a hint of faint impatience. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a cigarette pack, but then remembered that smoking was prohibited in the hospital. With a light click of his tongue, he simply put the cigarette pack back.
His expression only seemed to grow more irritable: "Or do you want to go to your friend's house? Haven't you always wanted to avoid involving innocent people? That kid already has one foot in it anyway; he's bound to find out sooner or later."
Rather than that, it was better to choose his family.
Nana is not stupid and naturally understood Gin's implication. He froze for three seconds before finally nodding in agreement, but—
But if that's the case—
However, she was interrupted again.