Perhaps since the death of Scotland, after having a heart-to-heart conversation with Sheila, he had begun to form his own thoughts regarding the existence of the Black Organization, the idea of making a choice for his future life began to stir within him.
She also had the thought of not letting Nana step into the Dark.
She began to feel fortunate that her past accidental choices had kept Nana away from the Dark, had granted him the opportunity to protect her so that she would never step into it again.
She was stubborn yet soft-hearted, naive yet tenacious.
She was never a fool.
I've always called you stupid, but I know you aren't.
It's just that I have my own selfish motives, I don't want you to be involved. When I called you so stupid, I was actually talking to myself.
A girl that stupid has no utility.
I want you to become an ordinary girl, with a life and choices of your own.
She looked at Nana, her gaze almost tender.
You don't need to come into contact with things that you shouldn't be touching.
You don't have to.. be like your Sister.
That's why I say you're foolish, that you're weak, that you're bound to die—and then I use that to reject you," he said, a trace of self-mockery curling his lips. "But how much better are you than Kimie, anyway?
Perhaps by her standards, Nana was indeed too immature. But by the standards of an ordinary person, she was already outstanding enough.
At least, she could serve as a Pawn.
But he did not do so.
He could use Shimabukuro Kimie without hesitation, he could seduce this girl without a shred of sympathy, he could place her under Takao Haruki to be tempered.
But the target could not be Nana.
I don't just want to protect you; I want you to live a life that is pure and untainted.
Your hands are clean," he said slowly, feeling as if her soul were separating from her body for a moment, watching everything before him with near-total calm. "You have not done a single bad thing.
This was the little girl he had raised with his own hands, from the time she was full of murderous intent to now, when she is able to help others.
It is quite ironic that a man like him, whose hands are stained with blood, would actually raise a Little girl who looks so kind and upright.
Dan Nani eventually became such a girl.
This girl once stood before Shiratori Midori's Grave, her eyes blurred with tears and her expression filled with resentment as she cursed loudly, "Why wasn't it you who died?!"
This girl also once lowered her head and said through her tears, "I promised her, I cannot lie to you."
This girl once confessed to her, "I am just using you to avenge my Family!"
This girl is now clutching the corner of her coat: "I can't just stand by and watch you leave."
He has never killed an innocent person, his hands are clean.
He has also never done anything wrong; she is completely innocent.
She deserves a happy and joyful life.
She must.. also have such a life!
The silver-haired man suddenly opened his eyes, his green eyes appearing almost chillingly cold under the moonlight, with streaks of red in his pupils that looked like fresh blood at this moment.
Blood on the Ice blade.
She looked at Nana, her gaze filled with a sense of sorrow and determination that even he herself was unaware of, like a wolf on a snowy mountain, like the rippling green waves of the lake surface roaring.
“You must live well; you must be happy and joyful.”
You don't have to worry about being woken up by sirens in the middle of the night. When you are hurt or in trouble, you can call an ambulance or call the Police. You can live with your true identity, enjoying the sunlight openly.
You don't have to hide your identity or engage in schemes; you can be just like the most ordinary girl, worrying about your weight, making friends, having a boyfriend.
You can openly get a marriage certificate with the person you love—using your real name, you can go on a honeymoon, you can embrace each other in sleep without any hesitation, you can have your own life—a life without any shadows.
—These.. are all things I cannot do.
"You must do it!" he narrated everything in a hoarse voice, her expression bordering on madness:
Otherwise—your Sister won't be happy.
Gin stared at Nana, uttering the final sentence in a voice that was nearly devoid of strength.
her Finger pinched Nana's shoulder so hard it hurt, however the Girl could not divert her attention from her own wound at this moment. She stared blankly at the Man before her, her closest Brother over these years; his gaze was like a layer of thin gauze, hazy and shrouded in mist.
Moonlight was like drifting silver silk, draping a hazy, clear glow over the man before her, while the pale, cold-faced man spoke one word at a time, her voice hoarse and resolute.
It was like weeping blood.
And I will never accept it!
..
After speaking those words as if in a vent, Gin turned around with extreme composure.
In the next second, a coat carrying the warmth of a human body covered Nana's vision.
Nana stared blankly as the world turned into an endless darkness, breathing in the lingering scent within the coat—cold and faintly smelling of liquor.
It was the refreshing scent of Gin.
After standing dazed in that same position for nearly a minute, the girl finally came to her senses, clutching the coat that was draped over her face.
Her expression was calm—if one ignored the traces of tears remaining on her face, her gaze was cold—if one ignored the lingering water vapor in her eyes, as she quietly wrapped Gin's black trench coat around herself.
—If one were to ignore her trembling hands.
The coat was large enough, warm enough.
It shielded Nana, who was wearing a little dress, from the erosion of the evening breeze.
Just like for the entire past ten years, the Owner of the coat silently shielded her from everything.
Nana heard the footsteps approaching from behind.
She did not turn around, listening in a quiet manner as the footsteps grew hurried.
A few seconds later, the owner of the footsteps arrived before him; it was a scent she was familiar with, a person she knew, asking after his with a voice she knew well.
She allowed herself to lean into Yaji's embrace.
The moment his gaze touched the Necklace in his hand, the Diamond fragments on the platinum chain shimmered with a faint, fractured light, the Main diamond surrounded by diamonds was translucent and flawless, its green hue as tranquil as a lake under the Moonlight.
Ruthless and cold.
Nana felt so cold. Even though she was wearing Zhenjun's coat at this very moment, even though she was held in her boyfriend's arms, she couldn't feel even a hint of warmth.
She finally broke down and sobbed loudly, her voice filled with an equally shattered despair.
Niwang only heard the Girl in her arms sobbing, her Voice stumbling and broken, trembling not just from the cold but from the Pain.
I'm fine.. Yaji..
She looked up at Niwang Yaji, her Green eyes filled with a sorrow that even the moonlight could not dissolve:
But my Brother might have an accident.. I can't stop him.. I can't stop him..
Clear, translucent tears fell from her bright green eyes, crashing heavily in the cold night wind.
Plop—
It fell onto the brightest Green diamond in the Necklace held in the Girl's hands.
Tears shattered.
-----------------------
Author's Note: I couldn't win against you all, so I opened up my backlog..
..
Gin is actually a person with a very strong desire for control; the things he says to Nana are actually a way of manipulating her life—from the initial experimental observation to his later, decisive refusal to let Nana participate.
ps: This was reflected in previous chapters; after he went to the Silver Bonny Bar, he made a Phone call to Nana, the two of them had a cold war for a period of time afterward.
And he had actually projected his disappointment regarding Shiratori Midori's death onto Nana; he wanted to see if there would be another possibility if he had never joined the Black Organization from the very beginning.
He wanted to see a different ending.
Actually, it's a bit paranoid, somewhat similar to Shiratori Midori's thoughts before he died, though the recipients (Gin, Nana) certainly won't accept it entirely.
To find out what happens next, please read the following.
..
Nana has actually been growing and losing all along.
Qinnai's family line is quite stable.
As for why Gin laid everything out so directly, it was partly because he had received quite a shock, partly because he had been drinking.
Perhaps he felt that after suppressing it for so long, he might not get another chance to speak if he didn't say it now??
Chapter 159 Chapter 143 So, what is your Plan..
Gin tilted her head.
The black hat on her head tilted along with her movement, a few strands of her silver hair fell over her shoulders, with her bangs obscuring half of her face.
The moonlight was dim, its clear radiance transforming into a lazy veil of silver threads that shrouded all things in the world. Occasionally, a stray thread would fall upon Gin, silently draping him in a layer of moonlight.
The black coat he usually wore had already been "left behind" at Nana's place once before. The silver-haired man stood at a corner, observing the young man and woman embracing on the deserted street.
The Girl leaned against the Youth's chest, weeping; her Tears were like flawless Pearls, like drops of Morning dew, silent yet profoundly desperate.
The Youth whispered to soothe his girlfriend, his handsome face having grown much more steady than in his youth, shedding its immaturity to become composed, yet still concealing a hidden firmness and sharpness.
It seems Nana has good taste.
The Silver-haired man thought to himself, feeling a momentary sense of relief that he had not interfered with their free love, then that relief turned into consolation.
The young tennis player bent down, his hands—hands that were accustomed to holding a tennis racket and had fought for honor after honor for his country—were now cradling a high heel.
A light green high heel.