To her, that youth was like a god, her entire faith.
It is a good thing to trust someone, but relying too heavily on one person is not a good thing.
Shiratori knew this, but she was powerless to change it—nor did she want to change it.
This was the source of the courage that had accompanied her through all the pain and struggles over the years; perhaps one day she would truly be able to walk on alone, but as she was now, she could not.
But it didn't matter—
As long as Gin is there, Shiratori Midori will not be afraid.
She was her source of courage.
The brown-haired girl thought that perhaps she really should try to find some inner peace.
Everything.. will be alright.
..
Seventeen.
After obtaining the System, the brown-haired girl had always been very curious about its existence.
However, after many experiments.. Shiratori always felt that the System's existence was a bit.. lacking in presence?
Gin had never really believed in the System. Shiratori thought about it for a moment and decided to follow her Companion's lead—just like before, she wouldn't invest too much energy or trust into the System.
However, some Spoilers are quite interesting..
Out of curiosity, she met Haibara Ai—or rather, Miyano Shiho.
She was a very cute little girl, but perhaps because she lived under the control of the Black Organization, she seemed very sensible for such a young age, her personality was somewhat cold.
Miyano Akemi loved her sister dearly, even though she was only a little girl of fifteen or sixteen now.
Shiratori Midori smiled softly, thinking of her little sister.
Miyano Akemi is a good sister; surely I.. shouldn't be much worse?
After satisfying her curiosity, Shiratori Midori excitedly told her Companion about this—she had already grown accustomed to sharing her interesting stories with the Silver-haired youth.
She wanted him to know more about her, she also wanted to make her life a little more interesting.
She hoped Gin would smile more—how handsome he looked when he smiled!
But.. don't smile too much. If my Companion becomes too attractive, she'll get jealous.
..
Eighteen.
Ever since seeing Miyano Shiho, I have felt that something has been a bit off lately.
It felt as if someone was faintly watching from the shadows?
And.. the Black Organization's missions have also become quite different from before.
After thinking it over carefully, she couldn't find anything amiss, so Shiratori Midori kept the matter to herself, having no intention of telling Gin.
Anyway.. it's nothing important, besides, it's just a suspicion of mine without a trace of evidence; there's no need to make him worry.
Thinking this way, Shiratori Midori instinctively stopped having contact with the Miyano sisters.
..
Nineteen.
She finally glimpsed the truth.
That puzzle, which she had long since forgotten, was accidentally unearthed during a major cleaning. Shiratori merely smiled with nostalgia at the time, gently brushing the dust off the puzzle.
Beside her, Nana cast a curious gaze, Shiratori rubbed her sister's hair. Looking into her sister's beautiful green eyes, a thought occurred to her, with a smile, she sent her sister away with a few brief words.
She wanted to complete the Puzzle and then give it to Shiratori's sister as a gift.
It was a nine-hundred-piece Puzzle, the image wasn't particularly large, so each piece was very small.
When she was a child, Shiratori Midori spent a long time completing only half of it before finally losing her patience and deciding to give up; now, Shiratori is piecing them back together, piece by piece.
She spent a long time—this Puzzle was indeed difficult to piece together.
After finally completing it, the brown-haired girl had intended to find something to pack it in to give to her sister, but while she was placing it in the container, she accidentally got a small section of the puzzle wet.
At that moment, the puzzle was face down. Seeing that the puzzle had been gotten wet, Shiratori felt a moment of panic and hurriedly went to the restroom to get a towel in an attempt to save the puzzle.
After all, she had spent over half a month completing this!
When she hurriedly picked up the Puzzle and tried to wipe it dry with a Towel, the expression on her face instantly froze.
In that instant, before she understood the truth of the matter, the professional experience of years spent weathering countless storms rang a harsh alarm bell in her mind, a piercing sound that shrilly warned her of danger.
Shiratori Midori's face was pale as she used trembling hands to pull back the veil of truth.
..
Twenty,
The brown-haired girl stood up, walking unsteadily, finally collapsed against the door; her limbs were weak, yet she gritted her teeth fiercely and slammed the door shut.
She leaned against the door, slowly coming to her senses. After a long while, she realized that her entire body was trembling.
It's so cold.. My hands and feet are freezing, my heart is freezing too.
Midori covered her mouth, only at the moment her hand touched her cheek did she realize, with a delayed sense of shock, that her face was already drenched in tears.
She finally knew where that vague, special feeling from her childhood had come from.
She finally learned where that probing—which had left her bewildered and had gradually faded as she grew older—had originated.
She finally learned why the Black Organization's reaction had been so strange after she had contacted Miyano Shiho out of mere curiosity.
In that instant, Shiratori Midori gnashed her teeth in hatred, cursing the Miyano couple frantically—even though she knew they were two people who had long since passed away.
She even grew to hate Miyano Shiho, finally understood why so many people—even including some members of the Black Organization—wanted to kill Miyano Shiho.
How could she not hate her?
How could he not hate it?!
Everything—the sadness and helplessness of joining the Black Organization at thirteen, the nausea of that first kill, the helplessness of hands stained with blood, the years of painful struggle, the exhaustion of pretending not to reveal even a single shred of truth to others, not even to her own Family, the descent from feeling powerless to self-loathing, now, this total breakdown..
All of it, every single bit of it, was all because of them!
..
Twenty-One.
She realized that she could no longer escape.
And when she saw the Silver-haired youth's green eyes, she understood even more clearly that she did not want to escape.
She wondered what she should do and struggled to find a way out, but in the end, she listened to that voice in her heart.
That weak, exhausted voice told her to give up.
Give up. You don't need to struggle in the mire anymore; you don't need to worry about how to keep Family safe, you don't need to worry about whether you will implicate that Youth.
Give up..
Yes.. finally, I can give up. (3)
She closed her eyes, deciding to embrace her death.
..
Twenty-Two.
Although there were several times during the Mission where she was on the brink of death, she could say quite seriously that she was not afraid to die.
But when faced with a real and tangible threat of death, Shiratori found that she was still afraid.
In so many nights she was lost and helpless, in so many nights she cursed the one who gave her the Puzzle, the Miyano couple.
Why me?
Should I blame the Black Organization? Should I blame the Miyano couple? Or should I blame myself?
She desperately wanted to demand answers loudly.
But she did not know who to ask.
Fate?
..
Twenty-three,
But.. what must come will inevitably come.
The brown-haired girl felt that she could no longer waste any time.
She began to think about how she could make her death more meaningful.
First, she thought of Gin.
Shiratori knew Gin too well.
The brown-haired girl looked at her hands in silence, unable to help but let out a bitter smile.
Parents have Nana, Nana has parents and friends; after losing me, they might be heartbroken for a while, but they won't stay trapped in the gloom of losing a loved one forever.
But Gin.. she only has him as a friend.
Even if he would eventually move past the pain, Shiratori Midori still felt uneasy.
Moreover.. there were far too many coincidences in how they met, the most significant being that they met during their youth.
It was the most naive, impulsive, defenseless age.
Shiratori was very worried.. if she died, would Gin have another "intimate" person in the future.
It wasn't physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy.
If it doesn't happen.. he will be very lonely..
It will also be very exhausting..
..